5/1/2026
9:28 am
As I sit at my desk and try to make sense of what happened and why it needed to happen I am left with little answers.
9:35 am
The benefit of disruptions like this is it passes the time fast. And I am waiting until a more meaningful life comes. This will likely be after the first one.
12:30 pm
The need to go walking last night came from the top and he seemed wanted to walk further for reasons unknown.
I felt like taking a walk today but am holding back.
Need to go to Costco.
12 days left in the fast. Was thinking of giving it extra but it is giving me a hard time.
If Carny is correct, there is about a month and a half (June) until the life changing event and everything changes. Until then it is me on my own and a lot of waiting.
As I was walking last night I did some thinking. God was saying you are going to run out of money.
The two things the channellers were telling me to do was: start the fast and start posting. And also start an ecommerce business.
The posting stopped on YouTube just lost the drive.
The ecommerce idea started hot but it left me after my apt with the psych for reasons unknown. This is technically something that I could work on. I don’t have the passion and am concerned about it failing me and I lose a lot of money.
So there is the third way to make money or a future and it is being taken.
Because if I run out of money, I will just have to return to living with my parents – but God said that I won’t be driving her anymore – so that likely won’t happen.
I was thinking last night how useless I am, can’t post, sell things online – where could I work? Except I reminded myself I just am holding the world’s peace.
“You’re Marduch” a voice said. Maybe the name is wrong but it the Bible story about an Iranian (Persia) guy trying to wipe out Israel – I am supposed to be that guy in a previous incarnation. He gets hanged and Israel survives.
5:37 pm
So details are coming out about last night. I came close to mission failure. This apparently has to do with being taken off the road that I was walking on. Don’t know much more – but God I think prevented it.
The question remains is why I was called to walk in the first place – but that will have to remain with God for now.
To be sure – I am not worried about my financial solvency or how things will work out here in Jacksonville. It is the channellers who came up with the social media fast – not a problem – they also got me worried about the financial side like posting and starting a business – I don’t have a sense of urgency – I think things will work out.
I haven’t stepped outside today. It looks pretty good. The last night really had a wipe out effect on me. I was feeling weak even after napping. But the weakness has went away.
6:20 pm
“You’re a bastard” I am told. So maybe I am not Igor’s child but I think I am Lubov’s. Igor suspected this with Andrey and Vladimir – or at least Vladimir.
The details remain unknown.
8:42 pm
Watched some Netflix tonight – a show Unfamiliar. The show is heavy and brutal with the two lead actors are German and based in Germany. Anyways I think I prefer American shows better but I finished watching the 7 episodes and kept coming back.
5/2/2026
8:40 am
My health stats are back to normal (according to watch). Days pass one after another and the big day draws nearer and is inevitable.
Costco shopping is for tomorrow.
Raining heavily today so I probably won’t go walking – besides I am still kind of tired – unusual – maybe it’s just the morning.
Made myself some caf coffee and sipping it.
8:50 am
“You’ll get cancer” not the first time I hear it. Something will cause it and I dread having to go through the treatments.
8:53 am
“You’ll soon disappear” obviously I think I know what this means.
9:04 am
I decided to read a book. As I turned on my electronic music – I jumped to Lullaby Horizon – a heavenly tune.
I imagined a scene – a guy is living mundane days all alone – but suddenly a red carpet appears, characters show up and grab his hand and whisk him away from his old life. “Kiss” is what I hear will make this happen. But I am not ready for it yet hopefully almost because then why is God taking this time.
I remember a scene in Dallas, a young woman, a Russian, married an American – God told her she lost good stuff meant for her because she went her own way.
You know, I considered marrying in Dallas, there was a suitable woman, but every time I met her I just knew it was not time yet.
There were people wanting me to get married – but it would have ended up in tragedy – my angels would not have been able to save me.
So I went through hardships – I knew there was no other way.
I’ve held out until now. I consider taking matter into my own hands and kissing someone – but I realize it is wrong to take matter into your hands – must wait on God here and the time is surmountable
Song “Take what you need but you are holding out for something” is making me cry. So maybe this is a message.
God promised me in Dallas that when he builds me up he will send a helper who will strengthen my hands.
Honestly, I don’t desire a girlfriend today – I am more neutral. Maybe a few days ago I wanted one for the friendship.
In Dallas, my sexual drive was crazy – I was in my 30s so that is normal – I wanted to get married but couldn’t go through the ceremony – it was just too much.
Today it is almost gone. I don’t understand how I will date daily when my DOs (interdimentional sex) are almost like once a week. In Dallas, it was one every one or two days.
So I am not taking anything because I don’t need it badly. I think it will require a friendship first. This is something that I would be open to.
I guess the first one is important and I want a good story not something that will be regretful – or maybe not easily shared.
So this is God’s territory and his expertise to make happen. I am open to a friendship but I would prefer it would come from God and not man.
But to be honest right now I am chill not caring even for a friendship, much less sex. This is a tough situation to solve and it is best left to God.
But a few days ago I was longing for a girlfriend so things can change quick. I was going through hardships that one could alleviate.
The chill I am feeling is peace and God told me it will fill the room in the future – people will feel it.
I just imagined a scene with Delilah and Samson. The Philistines were waiting for Delilah to get the secret (compromise Samson) where they could jump in and take him.
It is clear to me that it will take a girlfriend for the taking to happen.
I asked God what would he do if I suffered mission failure(propal). What would be the backup plan – there is no other way he said.
A channeller gave me precious information and then stopped sharing.
“There were others like you from where you came from. But they chose other ways – you wanted to come here”.
Sometimes it has been hell and I wanted out but was able to pass through ( something I will do until the end)
Some of my electronic music is bringing back memories from early 2023 more like feelings it was surprisingly critical but it didn’t occur to me that it was so back then. 9:56 am
I think back to my last hospitalization and I remember Liz. A thin, pretty young woman. It was clear to me that she wanted me. She was from Rush the same town that I was in back then.
Anyways, I could use a person like that today.
I am surprised she was interested in me – what did she see? I was badly overweight. She like others along my path had desires for me – for reasons that elude me.
So what God wanted badly – for me to write has suddenly been realized. I guess my angels were able to win this for me. They say things like it is within our strength to have this happen the word is vsil – a Ukrainian or Russian word.
“Syn, mene po CNN” My child me on CNN.
You know if they never told me that I was the Antichrist, I don’t know if I would have guessed it today that I was. There is work left to do.
I remember my Clarkson days in 2000. I was writing these long emails to a teacher’s assistant, a young woman. It was catharizing just like now. This is something that I am returning to now – I think the medication – even at a higher dosage is being overcome.
10:20 am
I think back to the, few months before COVID, Dec 2019. A prophetess said in our church, “Decision after decision is being made behind closed doors and it is not going in your favor (for Christians)”
I think it was the deep state guys (inner state) knew that I would be vsil (within the strength) and started making decisions based on that future. This was a few months before I would be told that I was within the strength.
“Tyt po spy” – I am fine sleeping here with the first one. I would welcome staying here until the lease runs out – but I think I will lose this place and my guides want that. They want me evicted!
There is an esoteric reason for this. Just like they wanted me to get fired in my last job and not to resign. It worked out super well that way. I was released of a burden that I may have not been the other way.
The game theory back then was crazy. I never considered it but what if they would talk me out of the resignation. I never thought about that. Time was running out, my performance review was coming up and it would be traumatic. COVID vaccines were on the way and I don’t think I would have avoided them if I stayed.
I never thought about this but it seems that getting intelligence is a war to win to get. So is feeling better and getting off medication. Maybe things like depression and psychosis are a product of a lost battle to other people.
“Slut – good job” apparently that is coming up for me.
The moment is magical. The song is too.
There is something about freeing yourself, coming into wonders all alone at your own place – this would not be even close if I was with my parents.
10:57 am
As I think back to being in Germany – my last business trip to there, I see that even there, there were people who wanted me to be laid – this time for a very bad reason – they didn’t care if the world went over an abyss.
I am almost there and it is important I am ready.
“Ty(you) soon lose good job” Apparently it is too much for me and I give up the dating job.
“You’re going to die” code word for dating
“Fear first one”
“Mistake”
Under the right circumstances – her coming from God, I don’t think I will fear her.
“Det mene po internete” I am going to be all over the internet – exciting.
Right now the reception I got on YouTube was a little negative – most likely because I was saying that I am the Antichrist.
I ordered a lot of books from Elena, thinking they will help pass the time. I got through a third of the first one. Got useful information on space stuff – things I could use in the future – but I just keep putting off the book – it is not drawing me. Well maybe I just don’t have the right time.
I did read fully the Koldas one, but the ending was underwhelming. Made me think the Architects were lying who they were – but as I think back I see reasons that they maybe are telling the truth.
They are from Earth from the future and who left evidence of cities on Saturn, I think, went to live in a neighboring universe. They left an overpopulated future to live back in time where there was some free places.
The music is giving me vibes of a VIP person being ushered through tunnel into somewhere…
But they gave me a key phrase: “The Earth species are one of the most hunted in creation”
At first I didn’t think Earth was important, that I came to save an ordinary planet. Then I learned it was important in the universe – it stunned me.
Then I learned it was important in the metaverse. Okay wow.
Now it is important in creation (infinite universes) – a real stunner.
You see…
Something happened. I think I just overwhelmed someone… or not…
11:40 am
It is 11:42 am and I am not hungry. I think I had a few bananas for breakfast or maybe not – but definitely coffee.
Sometimes when I am listening to electronic music I get these mission critical vibes coming from it that beings are working in dramatic fashion executing an important plan.
The music says “following me” repeatably. I think it is either followers on social media or security, likely both in the future.
Even as Jesus comes back to defeat the Antichrist at the Second Coming – in Armageddon – I think he is grateful for him for preserving the peace. What would happen to his Christians if the world went over an abyss?
Although if he doesn’t come back early he will have no one left to save – so that is something to think about.
I think back to the moment where I was told that I am above the President and God said that I need to tremtit – tremble about getting an important security detail – okay I am getting a mind block
“You are a witch” I don’t see much psych powers with me but the sex from a distance may be one – but it really is a beast power.
I am just getting hungry – so I will still wait but I am having rice, salsa and avocados.
11:59 am
One thing the Bible says about the AC is that he will do things with power – but it won’t be his power. It is clear to me that it will come from my angels. Then in Revelation times he will get it publicly from the Dragon (is it a Ciakahrr?)
I am getting an idea that maybe I should publish this, my diary on my blog – God suggested it earlier but I thought just some segments, anyways…
The review can be overwhelming, anyways will have to see about this. Maybe do this day by day.
“Boode ne spyt” the music mentions, something about sleepless nights.
“Boode kept soon” so maybe supported by a group of people as a reference to “kept women” ones who are used to scam people in Ukraine. So maybe it will be me but minus the scam.
“Soon mnogo zlov” Soon much evil – a reference to dating. Again dating has negative consequences at least for me.
Just seemed like a boulder was removed and the music comes in clearer. There was some blockage.
It is now louder.
The rice, salsa and an avocado sits in front of me – the appetite has not yet come.
I need a shower and a change of clothes, it’s been two days since the last one, but I am holding out until tomorrow.
I have been previously told that the first date will shock me.
Some of this electronic music is just so awesome. [Appetite has come]
Regarding dating, I just have to remember or be reminded that it is a burden that must be carried (God said). “to nooshjno pones”
Funny things about me is that if I continue eating past the appetite I start to get nauseous and get on a verge of throwing up.
So there will be a lot of dating here, I ask if this house or Jacksonville, I get back house. But I am supposed to be evicted here soon – “that is fool” so maybe I get to stay here after the publicity comes and maybe stay here until the lease at least ends which is my preference – I have nowhere else to go or want to just yet.
“Soon get new car” The reference to soon can be up to a year. My next car I want is a Cybertruck. Has security windows and body so that is a plus. I have been told to get an electronic one next but I totally forget about the Cybertruck until I was reminded of it. Tons of room – some negatives are small windows and it being really big but it has four tire steering which helps a lot.
This is the last creation of Elon Musk. Tragically he is somewhere inside Earth – replaced by a clone. We are somehow connected in a way I don’t understand. I am his leader or his champion so I am surviving his companies now and have in the past.
He was taken I think because he was dying. I was upset at the trouble he was causing Sam Altman – apparently another soul person of mines. He is cloned too I think.
It is raining outside, phone playing music as I sit inside a lit room finishing my meal and drinks.
“Beggar need food ” is it me or someone else “on your doorstep” the Assassin by Sultan plays tells me.
How do I limit this? Give food for sex while in a famine? Who will be the real benefactor here – them?
“Your one look took me down” the song plays this time with official lyrics.
1:07 pm
I think back to the merger Netflix wanted with Disney – which CNN is a part of. The government preferred Paramount’s offer and effectively forced Netflix out of the game.
I suspect the real reason that the Government stepped in was because of CNN. It might have been lost in Netflix’s offer which would have spun it out from the new entity. Was it because it is important to the government or is it more important to me and my future and it had to be preserved? Maybe both.
“Soon po cabelahh – chen ty” “Soon over the cable – you are valuable” This is a matter of time the real win if this happens in the next year or two.
They say that the coverage of Trump gave a rating boost to the cable networks. Trump is nothing compared to me. But this may need time.
1:17 pm
“Soon veselah” Soon wedding. This is the second time I am being warned about this today. In the morning I was upset about it – I didn’t want one.
But under the right circumstances it may happen. I don’t think I will be faithful for long. But there are some marriages that the woman is okay with this.
I couldn’t do the ceremony this morning but now it is not a problem.
“Soon need robotoo” soon will have a job.
“Soon will be star”
God I would want a walk just to reset today – but it is not possible.
“Need whore soon” says a voice. It may describe both parties.
My food is running out and I wanted to go shopping today but my guides says I must wait until tomorrow.
“Soon mnogo sleepy” Soon much sleeping – this is getting dull
I was told yesterday that I have a child – a daughter. I once seen a vision of about an eight year running to me saying “Daddy” this was years back.
You just gotta listed to Behind Her Eyes by Sultan + Shepard it is playing now.
“yt” me here, sounds like “it”
“Chena here” “Awestruck” someone will be here so beautiful that I will be awestruck by.
“Need first one”
I just feel like doing Yoga to the electronic dance music that is playing. Not just to dance, like Yoga is not just done for movements.
So I am almost running out of six cups of coffee I made this morning.
Some of this electronic music is heavenly.
I am getting tired – wanted to go back to review April and maybe publish it – but it is not yet time I am told.
“Soon drugi, soon poseli” Soon drugs, soon within my strength. “Soon CNN.” ” Only”.
“Det(child) soon arrest you” (Only God refers to me as a child.) Yes, this is supposed to be my taking after the first one. That is what everything is waiting for, abduction, CNN…
“Date men. Big Men” the song is saying. I think it is dating important men. In the past I have been told they will be Trump, Schumer, others I don’t remember. These are the only men I care to date – not the average kind – ones with a mission.
Some will be post-mortem.
My mission is just insane!
I am supposed to publish my dates in the future.
“Soon apocalypse dom (house)”
2:18 pm
This is a current image of where I am (OP Image, see above).
2:28 pm
“Soon mayhem” a vision of a middle-aged white woman appears and says.
“Scoro spid” Soon HIV. God why do you do this to me?
Alive by Edannn starts out majestically
3:34 pm
Published April diary.
God told me using the term that was given to me the last time I was in Germany (zbut zdoroge). This was a time where if a certain group found me, they planned to get me to have sex with one of their young woman. With that act I would no longer be save-able by my angels and the Earth would be destined for a catastrophe.
Here God is telling me that my first one will not be organic and then the taking it is only the taking and then the first one.
So when that happens is entirely up to God and the operatives. Is it this month or June? Things seem to shift around – I think the latest is by June.
The reason I would not be saveable from that act in Germany is because I would no longer be within the strength of my angels – the act at least would delay it. Time was tight already. They meant it for the precise reason to lose me and world salvation.
Now I am already saved so the dating act will not have the devastating effect it would have had earlier. Besides these are all my friends so they will be careful to not go overboard.
4:18 pm
Published this diary up to now.
“Vyzevy” God says, visas, my code word for traveling into space. Previously I was told I would be on Ganymede one of Jupiter’s moons. Galactic Federation of Worlds has an outpost there.
I would appreciate if I met at least Thor Han – a character I already am familiar with. But he is deeply involved in trying to wipe out the negative forces on Earth and in the Solar System.
Elena Danaan his mate who he has a long time of past incarnations are deeply hoping for an Earth Future eradicated of the Deep State and the “Dark Ones”. A future where the Earth Race is free from slavery and able to have a Star Trek future.
While I don’t mind eradicating the dark ones, my future will involve control over the human race through the mark of the beast. It won’t be a future of freedom – I will be the elite and the rest, I am sorry to say, might be close to slaves.
This is the structure of a negatively harvested 4th density entity – stuff I found in Ra’s material (The Law of One) – stated that the negative ones have a valid way of serving the creator – they have their own path through the densities – dimensions. It is harder to be harvested into the 4th density as a negative than as a positive. I digress.
The message I will have for Thor Han is that at least cooperate with me if not join me because the wait out will be overwhelming – I will hold the power for decades.
God is on my side and very much controlling things so that may be an excuse to cooperate.
But frankly I don’t care about him.
If he would give me access to Elena we may be able to communicate – she already is subconsciously targeting me with the last hospitalization. I see her as a positive effect on my life. Or maybe my current brain implant can contact him directly – something I think is too much to give to him – but I am told to value.
I am supposed to have something to do with Ea and his Niburu habitation spaceship.
Finally, if Thor Han wants order on this planet and a future then it is only me who is doing it – but I am pushing this too much.
4:38 pm
So I think, where are my guides from? Do they have a presence in this solar system? They tell me that they are in the higher dimension 4th according to Ra and 5th according to the GFW one – I think.
Do they have spacecraft and things like it?
I have to reiterate, the last time I was non-stop posting was before I was arrested with the last hospitalization. This has the same echo.
I have been told to fear Ea – maybe it has something to do with dating – his last wife has been really hurt after their marriage and is living on another world. Anyways I mean it I don’t care for stuff like that so maybe it is psychosis and voices keeping me entertained.
I think I saw Ea in a vision dating an Earth woman – so maybe there is something to it.
God finally has his way with me posting away – He was calling me to write endlessly – so this is his delight. I think my angels found a way to achieve this for him. The work all hinges on the strength to achieve it no matter how hopeless the target is, they can achieve it through strength – not my own.
I don’t know why but I am have been seeing the lead woman actor in the TV show I have been watching Unfamiliar. Now a flash of her husband.
If anything these type of visions have been blocked before by my medication. Just another way that I am overcoming the olanzapine.
If they try to take me off olanzapine (the antipsychotic) it will be brutal so that is like the only time that I will need to be kept under restraint and under supervision, the perfect occasion during the take.
Another flash, this time of another actor in Unfamiliar: Andreas Pietschmann .
I am feeling like intercontinental plates are being moved away from my body. I haven’t felt this free in like ever.
Video pops up more often.
Both are flaky and are not persistent.
If they wait until I get video (4th dimensional real time video) it will be a game changer – I might know when and before they come to get me.
4: 58 pm
The electronic music has been playing all day as have I been writing – it is essential to me feeling good.
The last time I have been feeling free from body plates is after playing Starfield intensively for hours. It seems what I really need is intensive computer activity – which writing gives me.
I am feeling weak – shaking – I really need tofu right now with a smoothie – but you got it – I have run out of it. Tomorrow going to Costco is non-negotiable.
But I just realized dinner is coming up. I think I will make black beans with salsa.
Making more coffee, another 6 cups, decaf this time.
Founds a batch of bananas in the fridge – so like four of them later I am thinking I am getting on top of these shakes. I may need to get a fifth one.
Wouldn’t it be great if I get counter-intel on the operatives who want to take me? The female guide tells me “te ne mona” that is not to be done! With the video system.
My hands continue to shake but I am on the mend.
Another flash of Susanne Wolff, the wife in Unfamiliar. To me and obviously to others, I saw a lot devastation in her face. Living a hard life, the rosy cheeks, and the face.
I am reminded of an explanation that I was trying to make to an in-law relative, sometime in 2014 roughly, that the businesses in Germany use everyone they have, because of the small population there, even if it means third-rate people – the term I didn’t have then but heard from another executive later.
But apart from America, they are the next in line in power. The Antichrist will use Berlin as his political capital of the world.
But I thought to myself, about her, this is what it takes to make it in Germany – even if they have the better food than Americans do.
5:32 pm
I will try to post the rest of the day on my blog before I go to sleep. You got it – incase I am taken.
Let’s do it now.
8:51 pm
I came back from the walk.
As I was going for the walk, Halo Extended Mix by Jack Emiry was playing. I remember it saying “Tonight I am falling” and I thought that is it. Falling is my reference to dating. The only way it is going to happen is if they take me tonight.
Before then I was told it was going to be from my apartment. I didn’t rule out from the trail. In fact I thought it was after I returned from the trail and getting into my car.
The walk was okay. Although I would return to the car at dusk.
It occurred to me on the walk to do something I usually do on the walk but this time I almost forgot.
I closed my eyes and asked the 4th dimension what they thought about me getting taken.
I saw two hands clasped in a prayer position in darkness. They disappeared and I saw a woman’s face through a helmet plastic visor – she was wearing a lab suit that was pressurized it was made of plastic not the space kind. She disappeared and I saw a nuclear explosion.
Interpretations for me take time. I wasn’t sure what to make of this. So I closed my eyes again.
This time I saw a disappearing trail and then a fork in the road.
Suddenly it hit me what the first vision meant: pray that you will be taken because Earth is going to get hit with a serious COVID 2.0 maybe an Ebola kind. Nuclear explosions will come.
I will have to make a decision on the fork in the road, this I think when I am taken, if I will agree to something.
I walked some more and tried to open my app to record this. It kept crashing. It shocked me, are they trying to prevent me from writing anymore – will they take me before I get to my computer.
I briefly got a glimpse that I wrote earlier: “Soon apocalypse dom (house)” My apartment would be center of an apocalypse. I was repeatedly told there would be nuclear explosions here before.
Suddenly I was desperately wishing I could get back to my computer.
As was walking it was past sunset and I was getting a little nervous in the dark, in the forest.
Near the end Halo (the radio edit one, shorter than the first) started playing.
I was getting some information from it.
I was going to be taken through a portal (not a Stargate because that is for within the universe – portals are to different dimensions or universes) to Koldas which is in a different universe. To escape what is happening in this world – I think. The portal is in Neptune as described in Elena Danaan’s book called Koldas.
Suddenly my requests to save my phone and keep my possessions in my apartment disappeared in importance. It is like God mentions in the Bible: my life would be my prize.
As I kept driving back, one song seemed to have a lab siren blaring – likely warning me of a lab leak. It was a scary sound.
Then it hit me, if I get taken tonight, I would likely never date. Now this makes super sense, my libido is super 0.0 . I would do just fine never dating. And this is my key differentiator among all past world leaders, they dated and I will not. Is this the secret to success?????
It makes super sense to me that I will never date. My sexual resolution will never fail.
As I glance at the phone it is 9:11 pm.
So I might be gone, taken and never to return to here and maybe return as the Antichrist in a different body.
Despite my happiness earlier in dating – it is a relief to not have to.
So the fast is serving a purpose. As I think back to the channellers, one clearly or two mentioned that I essentially would date.
I hope they are wrong. The only difference with me and the previous world leaders so far is the non-dating part. I hope it stands because I just can’t date – no energy for it.
We’ll see if God has plans for me to date but I really really really hope not not not.
I was also told earlier that I am in time so that is a big relief.
Dating is what took out Elon Musk, Sam Altman, Oracle’s CEO. If it doesn’t kill you – which is rare if you’re not monogamous you might get crimes against your victims and they take you under and replace you with a clone. Not dating is the get out of jail card. You have no soul ties – and they kill you eventually.
But rising to power you need sexual energy and for me that has been through sex-from-a-distance non-contact sex. It rarely hurts you and you get sexual energy.
I don’t see a path with dating I think I would be taken and it would be cloned quickly.
So most of what I have been told could have been a lie at least about the dating part today and earlier.
So what is my future? Do I get taken? Is it all up to me to save myself?
What if the help does not arrive?
What if my guides, though look nice, might be of a negative kind that are prohibited from coming to me? But if they are in the New Earth (4th dimension) they would be within the solar system positive force blockade.
Suddenly my destiny is in my hands and things don’t look so certain.
Virginity is the get out of jail card that almost no other world leader has – well let’s say no world leader has.
Every things hangs on this. I’ve been through the hard part the rest should be easy.
The false prophet was predicted by Jesus to be Pope Francis. I remained thinking that that prophecy did not fail.
Now it makes sense, he might also come back, because there is a good chance he has never dated.
Benefits include, never losing video, getting HIV and really being free.
10:09 pm
“Soon zlov (evils)” God says. What kind I ask?
As I sit here thinking, everything I was told is on the table as being a lie. What is true and what is false?
What if the help never arrives? What if I am on my own until the end?
What if this curse is my biggest blessing?
Antichrist is associated with deception – right now I am a huge victim of it on my own.
I open up the app and now it is not crashing. Maybe the small rain droplets on the trail on the phone had some effect on it that it was crashing.
While this sounds nice, it just occurred to me that I just might be on my own financially.
What if the channellers are misleading me. I went through a period where I thought they were Israel operatives against me.
They have info that is real about me. But that can be gotten by mind scans of me from orbit. This would be key for my group to deceive me to deceive them.
So I think the social media fast needs to be made permanent. The posting on YouTube was likely a mistake, one gotten from them, and maybe the videos need to be deleted. This is up in the air.
The ecommerce suggestion seems like also a mistake – it is too early and could shorten my time here with a likely failure.
5/3/2026
10:52 am
Came back from Costco. Eating black beans with pasta sauce. Leftovers from yesterday. Have enough now for a week.
The voices still want to sell me a future of dating and being taken. I know my future does not have dating and they know it too but they want to spin lies because it is “power”. Yes caught up in the moment when they tell you lies it feels good but the danger is not worth it. Besides I really hate lies. So I had an argument with them and keep pushing back.
I want them to stop and there was a fight about why I can’t get rid of them and cries to the universe, God for help.
It has gotten quite now and it is what I need.
God forbid they get me to flip, know that dating is not in my future, for reasons given above. They are good at what they do, they can get you to believe the lie but they are careful that when the danger comes you flip to the safe/true position.
I cursed God out, he keeps repeating “Sign” like forever, and if I ask him to elaborate he goes quiet. Who can take repetitions day after day. It is not safe for the mind.
So the working theory is that I don’t get taken. I have to lift myself by the bootstraps.
The channellers I think are an operation against me. There was time after time that their predictions failed. I would get angry but forgive them. This time I won’t be watching YouTube anymore. I wanted to go back to the news media, but a guide is pushing back on that. After the fast is over I think I can do that because they don’t want me to continue the fast past thirty days.
Earlier today the country song lyrics were playing in my head: “If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything”.
It is now clear that the voices tell you what you want to hear. Then you believe it more and like it and the cycle intensifies.
Now as I think to all that the channellers said, I have to reexamine if that is truth. The expectations might not come.
Lets think of this: The channeller says: “I know that you don’t want it but love is coming” This is flagrantly against what I have been told by a preacher: “Dating is not allowed to you.” So where is she getting this information from. Angels? What if this is a lie. A person setup, controlled to deceive me and get me to fail.
This is a case study of one person. She has told lies before. Anyways it is like I am walking into a lion’s den with these channellers – they absolutely do not have my best interests in mind.
They are probably mind controlled by some intel agencies.
If something feels like too good to be true it probably is.
12:03 pm
As I sit here eating black beans and trying to figure out the truth from fiction and these channellers – suddenly it hits me: what if they were cloned?
That is why I left the first three channellers maybe a year ago – I thought they were cloned. This may explain why they maybe had some truth to them but now they don’t and are my enemy.
I thought God was lying to me on one of the channellers early this year that he went to hell – now it makes sense.
You brood of vipers!
12:34 pm
I am sitting here bored and don’t have anything to do. Don’t care for walking. Playing music.
12:39 pm
I get the feeling it is nothing for them to take out a person and send them to hell – anything to get to me and compromise me.
The stakes are super high and I am fighting against the best the world has right now and unfortunately I fall into traps.
1:01 pm
The night that I walked, it was for four hours in addition to the four hours that day that I walked on the trail.
Just sitting here in limbo – trying to find the next thing to do.
1:27 pm
So what if the help I am seeking is just not within the strength of my Earth friends. They are already doing the best they can.
Just have to find my own way.
Going on a walk
1:45 pm
Be careful what you wish for so no thanks from me.
1:56 pm
The real battle with me is to overcome, maybe the world. And this can only be done wby me and my guides.
2:09 pm
As I try to get as far from my yesterday hallucinations and lies, I suspect that I will remain to be a deceiver – maybe not by choice.
2:12 pm
And the Bible says that God will send them a strong delusion in the end times. A rare statement where God is working with the Antichrist as he is now.
2:23 pm
I keep getting the urge to partially end this fast not with social media but with the news media. The idea for the fast came from the enemy for reasons that are hard to understand.
But my guides want it to continue.
2:43 pm
Just had a long exchange with God and guides. They want me to continue the news fast which is a big burden for me.
On top of that they keep pushing the dating narrative something that makes me angry.
I was like if you push the dating narrative then I go back to the news.
The news fast want requested by the channeller – I added by myself on top.
God is asking for it. I am almost at my limit here.
Thought about traveling this summer to Dallas and the old
Church friends that I had. But it is just doesn’t make sense to do it because of the limited benefit it will bring.
I think it would be nice to travel somewhere but financially I have to be conservative.
4:14 pm
Back home, mother called on the trail and we talked on the latest happenings.
4:29 pm
I am laying in bed and am thinking that I need a life. Nothing to do – no projects, no interest in hobbies.
Am told that I will be on CNN but if that comes years down the line that is not helpful today.
Recovering from a life of sickness, self hurt. Now I am paying the price in a big way.
One female X scammer who I had a long conversation with mentioned that she coveted that I had no job because she didn’t have enough free time for her hobbies.
I think I am suffering more than her.
A state of limbo – in a desert.
But I felt much better after the walk.
Maybe I need to overcome.
I think I will stay off YouTube after the fast but maybe not X. X has important news.
Do I still think I will go to Koldas? I am no longer sure.
Came across a small rattlesnake on the trail. It was on the middle of the road just basking in the sunlight – not scared of me.
I think I belong on Earth.
So there will never be a first one. Never taken and held against my will. What does my future hold?
Maybe the people who I thought would be my helpers are really counting on me to make it. What if them helping me would open them to attacks by our enemy.
4:50 pm
I bought a $300 self haircut kit because of an attack that I had at a barber. Then I flipped and thought I would date so that was a waste of money since now it is safe to go to the barber.
Now I am back to no dating and the kit is super important.
And it is going to stay that way.
5:04 pm
Just months ago I didn’t think I could make it without dating. But now I am almost there where I can.
It is an amazing feeling of freedom, overcoming and of cheating death.
What will the next few months bring?
For those that have dated in the elites. They have to go to messing with children in ways that are abhorrent to survive.
5:18 pm
“video” will be a life changer.
5:22 pm
“teba vizmoot” God is saying that I will be taken. Okay fine. They may use that to get me off the drug but dating is non-negotiable.
This will also get me publicity.
5:30 pm
I am going completely asexual. It is surprising.
So earlier when i was thinking my Earth helpers where unable to help me, a guide said fear it. I misunderstood her. Now I understand that it is important that they can. Confusion is nothing new.
5:38 pm
I am like an investigator trying to find which of the channeller are trying to murder me and which ones are still my friends. What is true and what is not.
So the man who God said went to hell, still seems to have the truth for me.
One long time one, she seems to be my enemy with bad foretelling about me dating.
God says I need video to figure this out.
This is super challenging.
5:48 pm
Going for another walk. Getting calls to. The song is awesome Memories by Lara Nord.
5:59 pm
Conversations with God and I think that dating is in my future.
This way all the channeller are reconciled.
6:19 pm
So the sign deal has more info. Apparently I will be asked to sign something and if I agree I will be taken.
It is clear to me this is to my benefit to sign and I will do everything I can to agree.
I don’t want to be ignorant so I would like to know the details and such but negative is not for me.
9:11 pm
Left for the walk and arrived at the park and there were a lot of people there – groups of people walking.
A vision that I saw was another one that I saw a while back. The first time were these giant castle doors and a little hole in the bottom where a mouse can get through. Today it was a mouse hole in a concrete wall. Not sure what to make of it – maybe I am the mouse that can make through impossible blockages.
I don’t know what I was thinking on the walk. I was really glad to make it to my car and drive away. God said that he had mercy on me tonight and it felt good to make my way through the streets.
I was told that the people where I will be kept will be nasty – which surprised me but I am also need to value it.
As I sat here at the computer, I realized that if I don’t agree to the deal I won’t make and neither will the world. But if I do both win a win-win scenario.
As I thought more about things I realized that not dating creates so much problems from what I have been told and dating solves them all.
I am open to dating even tonight. The wait is getting easier. I will lose my good health which is sad.
I realize that the Antichrist will bring a false or dirty peace and that will only happen if I date because the peace I have now is chill and pure.
Funny the word pure reminds me of the movie Taken where the victim was pure and valued.
If I am correct there will be murder and other sins happening there so yeah I don’t understand it yet and why they do what they do but the most is that they are fighting a war against the good guys?
Which is exactly what the Antichrist will be doing and it will be a strong war.
As I am looking at a life altering decision I realize that I am not here by accident: I foresaw it before my life and chose this path for some personal reason. Others like me chose different paths. I apparently was the only one that wanted to come here.
I was thinking if they would have good vegan food there or if I will have to break my diet or have enough to eat. But if I am coming off my medication – I hope so – I won’t be needing to eat so much – I will be losing weight – I will be lucky if I have an apatite.
So many of people that were in my circle will be negatively affected because of me.
Just like Jesus before the cross wanted God to save him from but he said that this was the reason he came into the world.
I wonder what I will gain. Maybe it is some kind of eternity – isn’t that all that counts in the end?
I remember a channeller saying that many people will want what I will have.
The fast was needed partially because it would help me make an important decision that I otherwise would not be prone to. I think it has to do with the taking. If so the taking should happen before it is completed. But I don’t know what is going on in the minds of these people. But it is getting easier to wait. So I will wait – June? My heart will still be beating then I thought to myself – although I might bored out of my mind.
I have won a lot getting here I have to remind myself.
Changes are happening fast in my life.
The coming plague I am told will have no vaccine. There will be a nuclear war in this city. The latter is existential. But these things are a matter of time – I knew that Russia will nuke American cities – the only concern is how fast will this come.
I know the Antichrist will value, the huge milestone of becoming the ruler in Europe. I don’t see the value there right now. Just a lot of work.
Yesterday I was excited about being in space and seeing new places and people. Today it is gone.
It seems I have been taking two walks daily with the last past sunset. This is something that has to continue.
“Soon mnogo behead” Soon much of this will come. This soon seems sooner than I expected it to come.
I know it was years back where they were transporting the guillotines and building huge underground prisons.
I would hate to be God here with me what a challenge it must be for him.
But for Christians it is the way to go is martyrdom – they are saved that way and live happily ever after for the ones that make it.
I will stop here and publish this. This is crazy, I don’t even crave publicity – change sneaks up on you without you detecting it.
5/4/2026
8:19 am
So since last night God has been proposing a change of plans. I am no longer to be taken but will get to live at my place. So this is a nice deal – there is no place like home and this will solve a lot of the problems that I have been worrying about.
One channeller or two have predicted the event as being taken – one as disappearing so I don’t know if God will keep his suggestion.
With this way he doesn’t get me in the news as disappearing so he will have to find another way.
Being taken will allow a lot more to be done in a shorter time and my favorite if there is anyway: ween me off the drug.
God let me read the news last for the first time since April 12th. Wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be but it is a good start.
“You will miss video – will be ban” Carny says. The ban is sex word and that is what makes me lose the precious video but again I should get it back.
God is reminding me to value, what should I call this taking group, since sometimes I get lost in the negatives which is easy to do.
Today I am not dying for it to happen – just chill.
I think I will go for a walk this morning.
“You will be getting calls – kypish mashynoo” Carny says. I will buy a car and be getting calls – so this finally means new source of income.
“Tebe byde steroga” I will be guarded God says.
This is inline with what I was getting a few days ago.
Getting calls seams nice since I will be dealing with people.
Gotta figure out how to get my car serviced. There are two places I propose a dealer or small shop and so far it has been flip flopping. Maybe the dealer will work out but I like also the small shop – but again here I am guided in every moment the choice I am making exactly the lyrics from the song are just saying. Naama by Sultan + Shepard.
In Rochester the dealer would have been easy but here in Florida things are different and feel more harder. The dealer is super high.
Jacksonville feels like I have moved up from middle school to college. Maybe more rich people unlike Rochester.
There are two life changing things that are around the corner: being taken and “video” – which one will happen first? – maybe the video because I will lose it to dating.
Video I have great expectations for.
I am in a bad moment – don’t feel like it is time to go walking but also I don’t have anything better to do.
“Soon po tv” – soon all over television – the Antichrist will certainly have this
Bloom by Dezza is playing and it is awesome. The temperature is 66F right now F = 6 so 666
If I were them I would be careful with me – I am a package that needs to be able to sustain Earth in the future.
“Soon need steroga” I wonder how invasive the guards will be to my life
Got a glimpse of the TV show Man on Fire and how the girl is being guarded and it is just out of this world but it is fiction
Fuck just got a persistent video for a few seconds anyways it will come eventually.
9:22 am
“You’re almost breaking through” the song says as the video returns.
“Precious times – only happiness” “You are nightmare” Paradise by Ikson expressively tells me.
“Precious(doroga) weather (pogoda)” But yeah, I dread having to be the nightmare but I am a service-to-self type of guy
I was able to trigger video by thought and I saw it but it was unsettling. Just like seeing a matrix of tiles in the distance.
Halo by Jack Emery has just started – huge.
“If you ever find me stolen – I will be late night calling – you know this night I am falling” Halo Halo Halo
Chills
I wonder to myself what are they waiting for and I realize it is probably God who is holding things up. Is he waiting for video?
Whie he tells me that I am already harvestable (Law of One) I find that hard to believe but it may.
A thought just occurred maybe he is waiting until I overcome – this is a giant so yeah this must be it.
I was just hearing lyrics against me – Is this my enemies chanting that I will not be saved(instead taken before it). I am told that I am a victim of witchcraft so this was disturbing.
A daunting tsunami is on their horizon.
It is a struggle.
“You need first one” some nights feel like that, last night was one of those nights.
I wonder how many intel agencies are bugging my computers.
Carny told me that today would be a game changer. I hope I understood her well yesterday when she said it. I am waiting in expectation.
“ty (you) soon slut” Carny? this is losing its novelty. [they will] “Come over”
Don’t really want to write this one out – but there will be underage dating, maybe a lot. So I will go the way of some of the big people in public. I have to say I have no feelings for this right now. Best chance are ladies or women but even this is not as what I felt last night.
In a hard fight that is so prolonged as mines, it is natural to want some relief or help, but I have to win on my own before it arrives – it seems to me.
I remember laying on my bed and feeling that the desert, years ago, withering and it felt like the fight just intensified 3x, thinking how will I make it – until suddenly out of nowhere the storm just disappeared. I felt much better than I felt in a long time. This is overcoming and it was a battle that I was in on my own. The Day Life Broke Through – I wrote on it there.
10:48 am
As the thoughts go to dating – there is an issue – that I have an STD – that I got as a child from an older guy I think. It is a shame I think that this happened to me – but I realize that likely here there were no coincidences but I don’t understand why. My guides won’t even save me from HIV so this is just way out there – but I am no ordinary person – still I prefer to be clean.
As the music is playing I am getting vibes that are triggering past memories – is it when I was hospitalized and in the starship?
As I am reminded of the first one, publicity, dating I am told that it will be chen(precious) right now I don’t see how.
11:04 am
I think the only thing I had this morning is coffee – but this is normal for me.
I think I want a tofu smoothie for lunch – don’t feel like cooking. The tofu has all the protein I need for the day and has 500 calories. With fruit it is a meal.
Being a vegan is harder and more expensive but it has its rewards like healthier food and cleanliness.
I was told, by channellers, that it is important to move in silence – I think that in the future this will apply because right now I have a loudspeaker to my thoughts.
So I have not walked this morning, instead sat here logging my thoughts – which is okay – I can walk later today – maybe preferably in the evening but we will see on how I am led.
I can’t say this enough, the things that excited me a few days ago, Cybertruck, dating, publicity don’t anymore. I don’t think it is a regression – I really believe it is progression.
I perceive that my current state is super volatile, delicate like something small can cause me to propast (fatality) and this is a big reason God is not putting me with strange people or much less to date because I have to take it easy until things become more stable and I can handle them.
The night I left my apt for 4 hours was one of those nights. A fatality was close and it was avoided by God leading me.
While to me it seems like things are boring to God it must be super high-tense and dramatic. As I navigate this mine field.
Never Far by HAK3N is a treat right now.
If I knew I was in a mine field and have to rely on God to navigate me I would freak out double thinking myself. But it is more like a dance in a field oblivious to the dangers.
I am being prepared for a time like never before and never will be again – all to save planet earth.
There is a big topic on free will – do I have it? I know a Christian said that to get to heaven you must lose it to God. I know that the beast system, microchip, will control people so they will lose their free will in some situations. It is dorogo (precious) and I would give it up for a successful future and I think I already have.
Then there is the area with energy – I think my helpers are able to stabilize, maintain, change and give me energy. With this most of the things are able to be controlled. The last vector is how soon can they get this control and for me it was in time: bliss.
11:55 am
I will get YouTube TV cable soon. I will make lunch, take a shower then it.
12:16 pm
Had lunch. Change of plans maybe I am to go walking?
Read an article on Politico: America is pulling back in Ukraine and Europe is expecting to take the financial and military lead in the future despite all of America’s strength.
Europe’s only hope is with the Antichrist – me and Europe’s move is no doubt based on development and overcoming in my life.
Think one person wins and the whole world dynamics shift around to give him a place to lead.
Russia is cooperating here even if it means that they lose in Ukraine and land for reasons that are mysterious. Maybe it is the obvious: they are losing or will in a short time with my first one! 🙂
There is not much interesting news after I restarted news. Glad things are working out for Ukraine after ?Orban (Hungary’s leader) lost.
Russia’s empire is falling apart, is Iran the last big one they have left? Then there is China – but they really aren’t allies. China is more negotiable.
1:08 pm
“I will take you” God said
“One day a stranger will show up” I said
“Two”
“That seems scary” I answered. As I imagined them at my doorstep.
“To podpyshy” I will have a choice to make that I am all but sure I will make it.
“Toot podpyshy” Seems like we can sign it at my apartment.
Yesterday it was supposed to be on the trail so it is not exactly set in stone.
“Bootesh (I will be) brutal” Something I didn’t expect but the Antichrist does wipe out people like he changes his shirts.
“Soon mnogo help” Soon much help
Seems like strangers give me anxiety – something I need to fix. I am dreading doing my pickup at Azure tomorrow. I ordered stuff that they deliver to a group of people on a semi. First time there and there are uncertainties and I made a huge order and I am all alone. In Rochester I would be with my Dad. But it should be okay I feel better already.
So I am stocking up with dry grains for the coming famine. I recommend to anyone else to do the same. Make provisions for month or months of emergency food.
I have an Instant Pot pressure cooker so cooking dry grains is easy there.
I think of all the pets and how they will suffer in the famine – especially cats who need meat.
“Shoot zakryt” Shoot closed up – painting another version where I am taken without an agreement at gun point – maybe this is what my enemies are praying for.
The sound “it” I am not sure if I should be using y or i but am using y. it and yt are the same when translating from Ukrainian the sounds.
The last statement I rethought it – maybe I panic and try to run and I get shot.
Don’t panic I tell myself
“You did” came an answer.
When I was expecting to be taken in Dallas over a decade ago, I was expecting to get shot during it.
Isn’t it crazy how profoundly I misunderstand myself.
Another moment in Dallas, It’s nighttime and I am laying on my bed in Dallas really hope they come for me. In darkness I hear a crashing sound at my front door. I panic and don’t want it anymore. Nobody was there – I don’t know where the sound came from.
There is something about me that flips in these cases, something I totally do not expect and I don’t know why.
Obviously a way needs to be found that I don’t get shot. I can probably stand two strangers who can explain their proposal. I will try to manage my fears. Even if I don’t agree on the spot over the course of hours or days I think I can get there.
I have nothing else on my schedule and God and the guides usually get me convinced.
2:02 pm
i’m breaking down by Le Youth a treat
This is the one that I think I hear the lab siren going off – will there be a pathogen leak?
I remember the neighbors called the cops on me sometime around 2002. I was not on meds yet then and totally useless living with my parents. I was trespassing on their property.
My brothers were there with me on their driveway when the police sirens started to near.
I knew they were coming for me and the first thought I had was to run. My younger brother was like stop – don’t. I stopped.
They arrested me, read my Miranda rights and took me to a psych ward.
If I ran I might have ended up in jail and lost my future career with that record.
Famines are coming.
“Boodesh in jail” That is effectively where I will kept after getting taken.
“You angry” Totally don’t expect that. You see I flip in unexpected ways.
I don’t know myself.
These are heart emotions, fear, anger. Mentally I think I am ready for it but I have not counseled with the heart.
Before the social media fast, that was given to me by my guides, one said that the reason was that it would help me agree to a decision I would have to make.
Before the fast, I was getting irritated, angry and upset at being taken.
Over the course of two weeks I have flipped – I am looking forward to it and with agreement. The social media, the guides, the counselors were having a detrimental effect on me.
So there is still room to improve, since I will get angry there, but there is still time for that.
Making a cup of dry buckwheat as a snack. I won’t eat it all but will leave it in the fridge. Don’t know why I didn’t think to go for the pita bread.
This is the first time I am having a hard time today.
Shipment came in. Been avoiding Walmart so I have things delivered.
4:27 pm
Having an early dinner. Buckwheat with sauerkraut.
I can no longer open this page on my mobile phone only the desktop. I will need to break this in parts here and probably on the blog.
Walking today is just a matter of time.
Finishing my sixth cup of coffee today.
“Soon golod jde” A famine is coming and I need to be prepared.
I have been thinking if my website will survive the publicity. I have the professional plan – not cheap and it is supposed to handle up to 1000 users at a time.
Frankly, depends on the publicity if it will remain open to all without crashing.
4:54 pm
Who the fuck am I? I ask myself that I was given this job to save Earth? As I have said it is far from just any planet.
“You’re soon followed” But I have talked about this already.
There is something that I don’t understand that just occurred to me. On spacecrafts, the gravity – the passengers come from different gravity planets – how do none of them complain of the gravity on these spacecrafts – they all seem to be fine.
“We had a mind to mind – should have had a heart to heart” the song lyrics go. And that might be the surprise when they take me – mind to mind is easy with text but the heart activates in the presence.
I am starting to hear things in songs that don’t align with my guides. A little unnerving.
You have no idea how a good, new song can help the nerves – the hard time.
The voices are trying to have me agree with being bisexual – something I have no interest in. But anyways regardless which polarity, mates are evils, I am told and asked to carry.
“To zlo ne boode” A negative reference to me coming of olanzapine – a disappointment. (or did I misunderstood her)
My mother has this fear of me being abducted (I am 44) – if I don’t answer the phone – just a good instinct because it is so true
I will get ready for the walk.
Done.
6:55 pm
Just walking and talking with God and my guides.
I am told I will hurt myself and be hospitalized because of the evils – the dating may be too much.
But the dating will be necessary to overcome and win.
I will be experiencing torment if that is the right word.
7:02 pm
I just saw a dark red SUV appear parked perpendicularly in the forest along the trail. A first. I like seeing things so no problem.
7:07 pm
Floating by Klur, a great composer, an old tune is still special to me.
Just got off the call with Dad. It struck me, after the call, should I warn him about my abduction.
I don’t want to call him tonight or maybe I should.
The next time I plan to call him is Wednesday and have the blessing of my guides to reveal.
7:48 pm
The guides are escalating this. They want me to write. So if they hold this, I plan to shoot Dad an email about this tonight.
9:42 pm
So I wrote an email to my Dad on the trail. And when I returned home to my brother. Haven’t received responses from either yet.
I am getting words that I can be taken as soon as tomorrow so it is important these warnings are received by my close ones. I would look like a fool if this doesn’t happen but it should before July.
I think I will wrap this up for tonight.
5/5/2026
7:43 am
“They soon have your number” They are talking, the song is, that CNN will have it
So I get up this morning and I have an email response from my brother. He doesn’t have time to talk but will call me.
Last night as I was in bed I started to have these visions that had movement. This may be nothing new because I do have visions with movement when I close my eyes – but these seemed different – maybe they are just progressing.
Had dreams just before I got up. For the past few days I am not sleeping in.
Paradise by Ikson
“dorogie pogody dorogiye pora” = good weather (as in personal environment), good times
“dorogie ty nightmare” = dear you are nightmare
“to ye tiky rad” = it is only happiness
“dorogie ploda” = precious harvest
“dorogie prybory” = expensive equipment
“dorogiye momenty” = precious moments
“Soon need music” I guess one of the biggest things I can miss is music – electronic/dance – when I am taken. It is a good coping mechanism. It is playing right now – yesterday it was all day.
“You husband” and I don’t know how this can work.
“Soon vizova” the music continues – space should be interesting.
“There will never be another” talking about me, as I was meditating on space
Halo
“I know you will run off somewhere”
“Times up” “Blue sky above”
“If you will ever find me stolen” …
Video is getting closer and closer.
8:41 am
“You soon armiu” Yeah I will have an army – nothing surprising but how many have one?
“You soon sleep here” again, seems like this place will have a future after I return
Apr 2 – 242 lbs
Apr 16 – 243 lbs
Apr 28 – 238 lbs
May 5th today – 236 lbs
I feel like the blockages are being removed and the weight is coming off. The last time I was 236 lbs was on May 29th 2024.
Even if they don’t take me the weight will continue to come off, maybe slower, video will eventually reach me. But it will take more time.
“Won’t you rarely sleep” Okay, if I come off olanzapine this is reality – because I start having hard time sleeping when I come off of it. “When you go home you rarely sleep” Boy what world will await me without olanzapine.
Imagine me inside a tall stone statue. Now imagine the stone start to crumble and fall apart. This is how I feel sometimes.
If I go missing the first person to notice likely will be my mother and she is the one that really starts to worry after the first missed call.
“You soon sleep here, slavery” Interesting but anyways
9:41 am
So I have an order to pick up at 4 pm today. I am not sure about walking.
So just like yesterday, I am sitting at my desk, an app plays music that I own outright, and I am occasionally writing.
“Soon zaberuit, soon Ohio” They will take me and then I will be in Ohio maybe I will spend time there during the possession.
“You need heckled” So apparently I will be giving public speeches
One of my channellers told me to stop social media and just post, maybe some rich guy will come across me and I will have a decision to make. I partially listened to this.
Then the next one gave me the idea for the fast. I am happy that I am right now am meeting the requirement for being off the social media and posting. Didn’t think I could post anywhere but on my barren blog I can.
The order delivery time just got thrown up in the air – I don’t know if it will be today – was hoping because if they take me before, they will have to deliver everything back to the warehouse and I don’t have a small order.
God asked me for this order so we will see what his plans are.
I am starting to think about eating, living on coffee for the entire morning is not enough. I think will have a tofu smoothie again. Very easy, no cooking and just works.
Never Far
Precious
It seems when I am uncertain and have a question, video tries to come but it can’t fully reach me.
“Together we can touch the stars”
Video is surprising me. It appears as a blue light briefly.
10:23 am
It feels like I am undressing a bulky heavy suit that I have worn like forever.
“Soon educated” I need this but where, during the possession might not be enough time.
I get the feeling that despite slow progress things are happening as fast as they can with almost no delay.
“You will be checked” I start thinking about the taking, will I remember enough to write about it afterwards. I seem to be told that I will be confessing my life well into the future. And some of it will be really bad.
I just got the feeling that I am on the brink to a huge realization and coming to.
It doesn’t feel this way, but I was told last night, that the first one will be a crisis.
I didn’t think the Antichrist would date, it is written that by his time he will have no regard for women. So eventually I think he will stop. He will get his energy from the dragon.
I remember watching Homeland and where an agent who has a really serious mental illness, taking lithium, hospitalized is brought back into the CIA because she is needed to help get info about a national security issue.
With me it is world security.
My brother just called.
“I am traveling in New York” “Is this something that you have told your psychiatrist?”
“No”
“When is your next appointment?”
“In June”
“So you have just had one?”
“Yeah, a few weeks ago and he scheduled the next one in two months”
“Is this something that is just in your head or do you have evidence about it?”
“Just in my head – a feeling”
“You could go to the cops if you are threatened”
He continues: “This is something that you need to talk about”
“I will talk with Dad about this soon. I already messaged him.”
“Has anything changed since the last time I was at your place – are you still taking your medication?” He was here about a week ago.
“No nothing really changed, I am still taking the medication”
“He continues I will be in Europe for the next two weeks, I can talk to you if you have Telegram. Do you have it?”
“I do” I reply.
Then he has to go.
Sad that I am coming off as crazy to him and troubling him.
I wonder if God is writing the script here. Why is God taking him from me when my parents are most likely to need him?
Time will confirm if this is true.
11:37 am
I was having a hard time waiting a day or two ago. The hardness is rapidly disappearing and if they delay I will be doing pretty good in the meantime.
12:05 pm
God asked me to pray. I did but a few words. For a second there I got scared about getting taken – a first – and a healthy sane thought for once.
Made a smoothie and finishing it up. It is about 5 cups so sometimes I have a hard time finishing it in one sitting.
Did a little cleaning in the kitchen – want my house to look a little better to strangers.
The smoothie almost has no taste. I don’t add sweeteners other than fruit. I think I will change the recipe to more fruit and less water.
But it is a meal.
“You don’t have to have it all figured out” the song sings as I debate when they will take me.
Okay so things are looking a little better. The delivery is only an hour late so it may be saved.
So it comes in 5:15 pm. I am back home likely by 6pm. If I want to go walking afterwards – I don’t have much time to store the grain in buckets. But if I don’t, and they take me for a month, the grains could get infested with moths sitting in paper packages.
So I will try to do it before I walk real fast and only for the important ones.
1:14 pm
So laid down and recharged my devices. It could be a long day.
Just worrying about something – dental stuff – and I think me in the second body has it all resolved.
God is reminding me to eat – I am running a little low but apparently it is important.
Coffee is running out and making new one this time decaf.
Really wanted a shower but apparently for some reason it is not advised so none today.
So God was right, I started to feel a little faint. I think I need more food. Bread is the best choice but I don’t have the perfect spread. Humus will have to be it.
Lesson learned, smoothie is not enough.
1:55 pm
“You soon zabran(taken) Shoot yourself first” That cracked me up – will it be that bad?
“They file a missing report” It seems to me that I will come back to a different world – one that is interested in me.
“You soon millionaire”
So I am thinking, There is a problem that came up in creation, Earth was headed for a catastrophe and it was really important to save it. I was the only one that could – was this a coincidence or did The Source let me fractalize from him for an occasion like this?
There were many a time where I wished I would not exist, asked God to do that to me, these were the dark, extreme times. I even went as so far as to wish that he didn’t create me.
But again maybe he was reluctant but he needed me here for this purpose.
Even with these many thoughts, I don’t think I am prepared for what is coming. I think I am prepared to make it living on my own – but what these people have planned I just have no experience for. But I need to be willing.
2:35 pm
Should I sweep up? Again in case I am gone maybe it should be a little clean.
Just was in my thoughts for a while.
Got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I don’t have the fitness I think I need to have for what is coming. Will there be a delay?
I haven’t been outside at all today. But I will soon.
I think I will have a snack before I go out today and have the dinner after I return from the walk.
So here are all the ways they could take me on any given night.
After I return from the walk and am approaching my car. I would try to agree. Here the car would risk getting towed while I am gone.
When I return to my apartment – they could meet me before I enter. I could leave my possessions in my apt and we are good to go.
The third way is while I am sleeping. I may not wake up and they would have to carry me – not an easy task. It would be scary to see intruders in your house so I would hope they don’t resort to this option.
Well I guess the final way is they could knock on the door at any given time.
That’s approaching physically. Then there contacts through my phone and so on. Here I have to be careful I respond, as I generally ignore these type of requests.
3:26 pm
I just imagined what it would be like being held.
I would be confined to a dirty concrete cell. A guy would let in a partner and say you have 15 mins. I would get upset at not being able to spend quality time with her and try to punch him.
This at least aligns with me being told that I will get angry.
It just occurred to me that I likely will get video before I am taken because I can only lose it to first ones.
So, I have to say it is getting real close and it may surprise me, but it is unlikely to happen today.
The other deadline is May 13th the time that the social media fast is supposed to stop. I was initially told not to go past this date. But then later I was to. I think whatever happens the social media fast must not stop before being taken because it messes with my acceptance of it.
So if I have more time, the spiritual world that soon will reveal itself to me will simply stun me and leave me reeling.
“To(this) need tonight” God said to me about being taken.
Yes it can happen tonight but that is a Herculean feat for me to get video today I responded.
That can happen he responded.
No I will not believe it I said.
The games have to stop with me. There is a graveyard of expectations in my past even ones that were told to me by voices.
Even if I get video, I hope they will give me a few days to get normalized with it. Two, three, a week it will be a lot to get used to.
6:34 pm
On the trail after the pick up. Did not fill the buckets.
I feel so deceived today and played. I won’t be getting taken for a while, maybe until June.
But it is strength to believe a lie, the truth is no fun they say.
Listening to their next prediction I was led to ask for proof. Then it hit me in the old testament the people would ask for proof, like miracles to help them believe. Maybe this is where I am headed.
Gideon asked for a sign that the fleece would have dew and the surrounding part would not one morning and the next the opposite. Also asked for fire to consume his offering. These were granted.
6:49 pm
“soon baby” just leave me in peace I answered. This might lead to the dreaded marriage call that they have been saying.
As I reflect on this day, it is clear to me that I can be mentally unwell. Generally I keep to myself and nobody has to deal with it, mostly. But now I am posting and this might have unnecessary consequences.
Current expectation is video, first one on my own, will taking them come – let’s hope not, I am just sick of it right now. But they are still pushing it.
It will be up to me if I want to go. A fork in the road.
I haven’t had dinner yet and feel fine
7:23 pm
A crazy guy to save the world. He just works, the alternatives were worse although they had a sound mind.
7:40 pm
I asked with my eyes closed what would it like today through (did I go through today) What I went through. It showed me stairs headed up. Okay so maybe I proceed and improve.
But then some of the steps in the staircase started to be missing. So it would get harder to walk up.
Don’t understand this yet.
So what I am getting about the offer I may get, maybe the taking thing, is just a high class hooker. It explains some stuff and makes me embarrassed about what I wrote to my close ones. Anyways.
So this is not quite right. The true reason is too much right now God says. The earlier reason today is closer to the truth.
8:05pm
I am having a hard time finding something to eat. With the current foods. I crave something hard and that is not easy to find in my fridge.