YouTube Posts
A few weeks ago, I decided to start making videos of myself and publishing them on YouTube. I felt that this would be a regular activity.
I titled my channel as “The Antichrist Alex Kozitsky”. Trying to make myself important as much as possible.
I made the first video explaining why I believe that I am the Antichrist. As I was on my walk, after publishing it, I got a comment. The video never had too many views, roughly a dozen. The comment was like: you need to go to church and be delivered and baptized.
I replied that I was streaming church services and was already baptized. We went back and forth until I decided to give up and let his comment that I was not going to be the AC stand. Time will answer this and I know that if he makes the connection later he will be surprised.
After that video I made three more. One did really poorly and I later deleted it. The two others did about the same as the first.
After that I gave up making more videos. There was a change in me, where I just did not feel like I liked making these videos. The YouTube algorithm was trying to get me out there, but the engagement was low.
At this point, I feel I need to get serious skills, some sort of intel that will differentiate me out there. I don’t really want to make them, but if like if I got a talent where I could get intel on subjects, then I am willing to make more.
I just don’t have the quality content that will get a lot of views right now.
Taken or not
Since at least 2012 I have believed that I would be forcibly taken by the government. (I wrote about it in The Hand That Wants to Take Me) Around that time, I was living alone in Texas while working there. Was absolutely desperate for it.
I was not crazy, because around 2016, while at a group prayer, a stranger told our group that God was going to prevent it – maybe because I was not ready.
Today, things have changed. I am being regularly told that this will happen. But this time I am not so crazy about it. I don’t need it.
First this depends on how long I will be held – and if I will be released. If the holding is too long, I could lose my apartment and if longer my possessions.
The second part is why this is needed – what is the purpose of this. Can something be arranged through talking about it.
Me going missing will definitely get me publicity – is that important?
What is the end game? If this is against my will – this will be illegal and a criminal action. Now, I doubt I will want to press charges – but it is just aggravating.
Life In Florida
Life in Florida, on my own for the first time in nearly a decade, and it is easier than living with my parents. I can eat and do what I want to. I have started being a vegetarian.
This is what I have dreamed of returning to in a long time and I want to be able to keep it.
I go on long walks almost every day, but for the rest of the time, I stay indoors. I still need more things to do – but waiting to recover might be pretty important for now.
So, my runway is pretty short. I will need an income for my life here to continue. And I believe this depends on my ability to recover or develop some special skills. This feels uncertain but there is time for that to happen if necessary.